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You Think I’ll Actually Be Nice About This? by Elizabeth Green

Lisa was late, and when she sat down he could tell she had been drinking for breakfast by the way she flopped into her seat and sat up straighter than usual, as if it were a chore to do so.

“I think you should have almost everything,” she said, eyeing the list that Sal had laid on the table next to the well-used condiment bottles, their insides oozed out and hardened at the mouth. The list consisted of everything that they had bought together right down to a few Ikea shelves.

“You should eat something,” he said.

The waitress plopped a small plate in front of Sal. Scrambled eggs jiggled up at him. He had asked for over easy but decided not to complain. He grabbed a strip of bacon from his plate and made Lisa eat it. She did, with a flourish of tiny bird bites.

“I’ll have coffee. And a veggie wrap. Do you have a spinach wrap?”

The waitress blinked at her. “A wrap full of spinach? No, we don’t do that.”

“No, I mean the wrap is made out of spinach.”

“Well, no but we can take some spinach and maybe make a salad for you. That sounds like a salad, dear.”

“No, no, the wrap…well, it looks like any other wrap but it’s green. Squished, and processed and stuff.”

“Oh!” she said, understanding. She thought a moment. “No, we just have flour.”

“I’ll take that then.”

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